Abuse

» DiBender68 - Different Types of Alcoholism

I would like to know if there is a level of alcoholism as a personal heavy drinker? My boyfriend drinks, he's been doing it since high school, he has two grown kids and I have never come across as him being violent, ever. He drinks beer and he works 3rd shift. So his happy hour is when he gets home. We don't go out much, so it's mostly at home. He works and it has never interferred with his job and he will drink pepsi, iced tea and lemonade when he does work. Yes on his days off he likes to relax but I have never seen him get very grouchy or mean. He gets silly. Yes, he admits he has a problem and right now I am going to court to get residental custody of my kids.
I also need to know what kind of enabler I am. I am very supportive of him and know that he is the only one who has to be ready to quit. Please, any info will help. I keep running into walls today online.

Thank you

-- posted by DiBender68

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» hawkgazer - How Alcoholism Effects Us

In response to Different Types of Alcoholism posted by DiBender68:

I would say it's less a matter of the type or degree of alcoholism, and more about the immediate effects and consequnces that the drinking has on our lives. You have seen enough negative symptoms of alcohol use to seek help, and your boyfriend acknowledges that he has a problem of some sort, so there doesn't seem to be a question of whether or not he needs make some sort of change. The fact that he is acknowledging a problem is a huge, and vital step for many, especially if there have not been major consequences from drinking (DWI/DUI, major health problems, etc). To answer your question, in general terms, most people who identify themselves as recovering alcoholics recall a time in their drinking careers where they felt they "hit bottom" - where they came to some internal realization that enough was enough. Essentially, the consequences of drinking outweighed the benefits. For some, this could mean losing a home, car, family, going to jail, and sitting in a cell for 3 years before realizing that the gig was up. For others, recognizing an emptiness inside - the fact that the booze could no longer fill the void of loneliness, grief, or whatever - brought them to a realization that it was time to make a change. For most people, their "bottom" is somewhere in-between.
As far as your question about enabling, I cannot answer. Even if I knew the details and circumstances, it isn't my place to judge anyone's decisions. Being in an alcoholic's life is difficult at best. I would however suggest sitting in on a few al-anon meetings, or at least reading some of their literature, whether or not your bf decides to stop drinking.
I wish you the best, and please keep us updated.
-Lura

-- posted by hawkgazer

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» DiBender68 - How Alcoholism Effects Us

In response to How Alcoholism Effects Us posted by hawkgazer:

I know his liscence was suspended 10 years ago. But he has never been in jail. I also know that he tried to quit drinking long before I met him. Now all he drinks is beer, no shots or hard liquor. I know it affects his health and I do worry about him. He is not a difficult person at all to be around. I love and support him no matter what, and when he is ready to stop this all together I will be there for him. He used to be a lot worse before I came into his life. I guess I have been a big positive influence. He eats a lot more now and sometimes I wish I could get more food in him. He is definately not a binge drinker.
Thank you so much for the input though, it is helping.
Dialene

-- posted by DiBender68

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