Abuse

» hawkgazer - How Alcoholism Effects Us

I would say it's less a matter of the type or degree of alcoholism, and more about the immediate effects and consequnces that the drinking has on our lives. You have seen enough negative symptoms of alcohol use to seek help, and your boyfriend acknowledges that he has a problem of some sort, so there doesn't seem to be a question of whether or not he needs make some sort of change. The fact that he is acknowledging a problem is a huge, and vital step for many, especially if there have not been major consequences from drinking (DWI/DUI, major health problems, etc). To answer your question, in general terms, most people who identify themselves as recovering alcoholics recall a time in their drinking careers where they felt they "hit bottom" - where they came to some internal realization that enough was enough. Essentially, the consequences of drinking outweighed the benefits. For some, this could mean losing a home, car, family, going to jail, and sitting in a cell for 3 years before realizing that the gig was up. For others, recognizing an emptiness inside - the fact that the booze could no longer fill the void of loneliness, grief, or whatever - brought them to a realization that it was time to make a change. For most people, their "bottom" is somewhere in-between.
As far as your question about enabling, I cannot answer. Even if I knew the details and circumstances, it isn't my place to judge anyone's decisions. Being in an alcoholic's life is difficult at best. I would however suggest sitting in on a few al-anon meetings, or at least reading some of their literature, whether or not your bf decides to stop drinking.
I wish you the best, and please keep us updated.
-Lura

-- posted by hawkgazer